its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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