Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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