She is in my trunk
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
