i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize