If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
