You made me cry and you don't even care
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
