so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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