Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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