I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
