It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
