The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
