I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
