Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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