It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
