Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
