Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
