At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
