Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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