i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
