I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
