I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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