am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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