If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
