Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
