You're completely useless in the revolution.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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