question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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