idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
