GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
