She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
