I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
