I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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