i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
