On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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