I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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