Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
