What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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