Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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