Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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