I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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