Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
