the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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