Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
