you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
