No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
