dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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