oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
