My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
