I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize