Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
