I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
