I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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