WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
