I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
