The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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