Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
