You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
