She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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