Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
