ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize