So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
