She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
