its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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